How did I get here?
by THE BLIND KING
Summary: M rated just in case. Yada struggles over her feelings for Nagisa.


AN: I don't own jack shit.

Yada wasn't used to this, or hasn't had any previous experience with this, but there she was in bed naked with him wrapped with his arms around her. She turned over to see him still asleep. He had a smile on his face overtime she grew to love that smile of his. That smile made her heart flutter, and that's when she knew she was losing. She didn't blame him she felt happy that it was him, but it wasn't how it was really supposed to go. Yada wanted to use Irina's seduction techniques on him. The only problem was that he was just a bit too dense. Maybe that's why she slowly fell for him.

It started with simple things like hanging out during lunch, asking for help with homework, and other things. In reality she wanted to overpower him. To control his heart, and lord it over him. She should have known better. "You are just too kind and sweet for anyone to want to harm you, and me well I fell for you because of that." She didn't hate him, but she didn't like that she also lost. His arms were still wrapped around her almost as if he would lose her if he ever let go. Yada loved that she completed what she set out to do, but at her own cost. She didn't have any contingencies, no back up plan, no other escape route.

"I wonder would you hate me if you knew even though I loved you." She did see the boy angry once, but this was different from that time. She buried her face in his chest. "You are really warm and soft did you know that?" How did it get to this point though? When did she decide to sleep with him? They were both still too young and yet. She felt no regrets when they locked their lips together. Nor when they began to remove their clothes. Nor when both were exploring each others bodies. Nor when one was trying to overpower the other. Nor at the end when they both looked at each other gazing upon one another. She enjoyed it, and she was happy for it. She remembered as they made love how he made her well being his first concern. He said that if it hurt too much he would stop. That if it felt uncomfortable he would stop. That if she wanted to think about it first he would stop. But no she wanted no needed it to be him. Because deep down she needed for them to be each other's first and only.

She remembered when he asked if it was too much for her to bear at the beginning. Then she asked why. He answered with, "It's because you are crying." At that moment she knew she made the right choice. That it had to be him and no one else. She held the boy closer pressing her chest against his and stealing several kisses. "For now this is the best that I can do." The reason why she set out to do this was because she wanted to be number one, but that position clearly belonged to him. "To think someone like you could be the best." Then the boy slowly awoke. "Yada hey what happened?" She looked at him and gave him a kiss. He responded back by deepening the kiss. Then they stopped when they ran out of air. "You fell asleep, and I didn't want to wake you." "Oh uhh thanks... Wait I didn't seriously injure you did I?" If only he knew how much it hurt her for him to ask her that. He would always place her well being first.

That question made her blush and made her heart feel lighter. "No it's supposed tod feel that way." "Are you sure I mean you bled quite a bit..." "Nagisa I'm fine besides it's my first time of course it's supposed to happen." "Okay so uhh where do we go from here?" "Yeah I don't know never done this before, but my parents and little brother won't be here for another day so we got the house to ourselves." She saw him blush. She loved the way he looked, and with his hair down. "Did you really enjoy yourself that much Nagisa?" "I well I uhh..." She buried her head in his chest again. "It's okay I did too." He smiled at her. That same smile that made Yada fall for him. She really loved that smile. "So listen I'm going to take a shower." "Then I should probably get going." Yada pulled on his hand. "Wait." "Yada?" "I... Uhh... I want you to join me." Nagisa's entire face was beet red. "I... Uhh..." "Please." "Okay." Yada knew she had some influence over him, but it was both ways and she resented that.

They both made it into the shower and Yada finally embraced him. Both felt the water hit their bodies. Yada felt his embrace even though the water made their bodies slightly colder he was enough to warm her up. She pushed him down on the bath tub and they began making out. "Yada are you sure?" She smiled at him. "Yes." "But we don't..." "It's okay this week should be safe besides I bought the pills." He gulped. "Uhh okay." Nagisa repositioned himself and made Yada sit in his lap. Yada could feel it pressing against her. Nagisa moved again and slowly pushed it in. It felt different this time it didn't hurt, and it felt warm and fulfilling. Nagisa began to move and Yada did as well. She locked their lips together as they kept moving. They both felt like they were reaching their limit. "Nagisa please..." "Okay." Nagisa quickened his pace and finally both came. "Ah." Yada felt a warm feeling inside filling her up. "You know it definitely feels better without it." "Uhh yeah."

She laid on top of him the water was still hitting their bodies. "Hey Nagisa." "Yeah?" "Did you think that it would end up like this between us?" "No never why?" "It's just that I always wondered why you didn't have a girlfriend before me." "I never bothered to ask myself that." "Yeah I always thought Nakamura, Kanzaki, or Kayano would be the one's to ask you out." "Nakamura and Kanzaki?" "Oh you didn't know?" "Not until now." "Yeah well they both also liked you." "Never would have guessed." "And also there is something I have to tell you." "What is it?" Tears began rolling down Yada's face. It hurt too much for her to say it. Would he hate her for it? Would he look at her with disgust? Would he used what they just did as a means to control her? There was only one way to find out. "Yada are you okay did I hurt you too much you're crying." "It's just that in the beginning I wanted to control you." "What?" "I wanted to be the best I used Irina's seduction techniques to try and win you over but..." "But?" "I fell for you, if you hate me for it I won't blame you." Yada waited for a moment no response. She didn't try looking at him then she felt it. His embrace felt tighter then she looked at him. He was smiling at her. "I could never hate you because deep down I love you." She knew that with him it was different. "I love you too."

AN: I came up with this overnight and finished it. So as you can already guess Nagisa/Yada is one of my otp's. As well as Nagisa/Nakamura, Nagisa/Kanzaki, and that one fanfic that has Nagisa/Ritsu. A shame that the last one never completed it was really good.


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